Creating the Life of your Dreams:
An Inside Job
3. What Really Needs to Change
The results of the exercise you did in the last section, identifying the "What if.." and "If Only." can help illuminate the answer to the question: What really needs to change? We are working on the assumption that your heart is longing to do something different. However, it is important to always check assumptions.
For example, look at these other possibilities:
The work you do is great, but the environment (people, structure) is not working for your heart
The work you do is great, but the way you do it creates imbalance and stress in your life
In the first case, if you can clearly identify what is not working about your environment, you have options. You can talk to people in the organization; find a way to work alone, or use this experience to shape your search for a similar career in a different organization.
Take a minute right now and see if this is true. Do you love the kind of work you are doing, but not the people you are doing it with? If the answer is yes, the remainder of this course will help you identify the kind of place where you can flourish. Pay particular attention to Chapter XXX?
The second possibility is harder to face. It is always easier to look elsewhere for
the cause of our stress and unease. For example, we may say, "They create impossible deadlines" implying "they" need to change. It is much harder to admit that we might not have the courage to say "No, that timeline won't work for me. Here's what will." Fear of speaking our mind limits our options.
Another way we sabotage our current work is when we feel there is no time to live a balanced life because there is so much work to do. Can you take a close look at your own ability to walk away from your desk at your preferred leaving time, even if something is not finished? This is so important to grasp. It is very often our own driven need for perfection, immediate satisfaction or completion that creates imbalance in our life. We sacrifice our meals, time with our family, our exercise, because there's just one more email, or one more edit, or one more anything. A great reminder is that "No one on their deathbed ever wished they had spent more time at the office."
If you love the type of work you are already doing but find that your life is a mess because of it, it's time to look inside. You might skip directly to the skills section to learn to make the inner change that you need.
Take some time now to picture the work you are doing and the way you are doing it. Ask yourself this question:
What needs to change for me to love what I am doing?
Now ask yourself this question:
What can I do to make this change?
Your answers indicate whether the current situation is salvageable or not.
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